the times they are a changin'

It's done. The diploma now sits on my mantle. It's done. And honestly it's freakishly weird and hasn't quite hit me yet. I think it'll slowly wash over me, or maybe it'll hit me like a thunderbolt and tears will fall uncontrollably. I'm not sure. 

The last day of school was weird. Being that close to everyone, the small class of 2015, in our tiny little senior locker area. The music was blasting. It's all surreal that its done. But as soon as the final bell rang, we were gone. I didn't sleep in my own bed for at least a week. I floated around, not ready to come home. I lived out of my LL Bean tote bag, slept on couches, on shared beds, on back-breaking floors. I became a beach bum. I found out that I really cannot bowl. I danced and danced and danced at the best concert I've been to. I reconnected with my favorite people. I've started and quit my internship. I've just begun to apply to new opportunities. I've turned my winter blues into a summer bliss.

Can't wait for what's coming next.

X.

THE END

I've spent twelve years at my school, which here I'll lovingly call simply "Academy." Now, my time is done. It's surreal to me that I have spent the majority of my life attending this institution. But it absolutely baffles me that I will never hear another senior speech; that I'll never play another intense rival game out on the varsity field; that I won't ever have another class. All of it.

My school is one of my favorite places in the world. We have a similar relationship as I do with my younger brother. I can insult it all I want--and trust me, I have--but anyone but an alum better not speak a word of contempt. I hold this place dear to my heart. The teachers who have supported me... oh my goodness. I cannot thank them enough.

 I would not be the person I am today if I hadn't gone to Academy, not even close. This school set me on a path, at the young age of 6, that has made me morally strong, enriched me to be academically curious, and pounded into me the highest level of respect.

_______________________

Things I've learned from high school:

Be nice: The simplest advice; the hardest advice; the advice that I need to remember for the rest of my life.

It's not easy (for good reason): It's not supposed to be easy. And trust me, it won't be. You will spend hours working on projects into the dark of night. You'll cry with anguish when someone you despise gets everything you've ever wanted. (It'll happen) Work hard and push yourself. If it was easy you would never learn anything, not about yourself or anything else.

You don't have to stay the same person you've always been: ... and you won't. Explore all of your interests, and recognize when something is no longer important to you. It's not a bad thing if your friends change because of it. It'll make you stronger, it'll make you you. 

It doesn't define you: High school is important; it's an important stage of growth. But high school will not define your future. Don't sweat the things that don't matter, because in the future they won't. You will always be changing and there is so much more to come. Revel in that. 

_______________________

A current college sophomore who went to my high school, inspired me to write this post on the end of high school. On her similar post, she featured this quote: 

"You get a strange feeling when you are about to leave a place. Like you'll not only miss the people you love, but you'll miss the person you are now, at this time and place, because you'll never be this way ever again." -Azar Nafisi, from her book Reading Lolita in Tehran

I'm scared for college. I'm scared to leave my comfort zone. I'm scared to see how college will change my relationship with my friends. But, I'm also excited. I'm ready to move on, because my school has ensured that. They've been preparing me to leave since I walked in the doors. Now, it's time to go.

Into College!

My life has changed immensely since my last blog post, which was written forever ago. That can be attributed to managing the swim team, one of the best decisions I have ever made, but that's not to what I am referring. At 8:00pm last night, I found out that I was accepted into my DREAM SCHOOL early decision. In the twenty some hours since I have heard, there has been so much love and congratulations thrown my way and I am sooo overwhelmed and grateful by it.

The world of applying to college has been so insane and has gone by so quickly (the waiting period, however, did not). I officially made my decision to apply early decision to college this summer, but in my heart I knew I wanted to go to this school for well over a year.

Looking back on my blog posts about visiting colleges is really strange, because I know I would have loved my college experience at any one of these schools. I just found the perfect school for me, and I am so excited to be a student there for the next four years of my life.

I am so happy that I applied early decision and that I do not have to fill out anymore applications (2 was more than enough). I hear back from SMU, where I applied early action, within the next few days. (Even though I wouldn't be able to attend, because now I am bound to attend my ED school!) I am loving seeing all of the facebook posts about my friends getting into the colleges of their dreams, as well.

Some advice that was shared with me over the past week continuously is that everything happens for a reason. You will end up at the school for you, and if you don't get into you "dream school"  life will deliver you with another, better option.

SOOO HAPPY RIGHT NOW

Weekend Links

Now that I have some college apps turned in, I have a little bit more time to start blogging again. Here's whats on my mind, this weekend.

-Thought for the week... and the year? Reminder to keep looking forward and making new memories for this nostalgic senior.

-Haven't liked turtleneck sweaters too much in the past but I have my eye on this one, in black.

-I was sick last weekend, and this tissue-box-cover would have been a cheerful addition to my room.

-In love with this cheery fall outfit.

-This healthy pasta alternative looks absolutely delicious.

-How To Get Away With Murder, or HTGAWM, is my new favorite show. I cannot stop watching it, or telling all of my friends about it. Check it out here.

-Due to my New York Times style section addiction, stumbled across this comparison of Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke in the aftermath of the infamous VMA performance. 

Happy November,

All Dressed Up

Although October has now come to an end, I just had a probably obvious realization for this month: it is the month of dressing in costume. No, I'm not just refrencing Halloween. That would be a little bit too obvious. This month, practically half of my days were in costume. From spirit week to senior day to halloween itself, it's been a month of Kelsey in disguise.

SPIRIT WEEK: 

See an in-depth summary of my spirit week here.

HALLOWEEN:

At my school, seniors and freshmen all dress up for Halloween and seniors parade through the elementary school in the morning. 1st-3rd graders dress up as book characters and parade in the afternoon. This year, my friends and I dressed up as frat boys at school, and for a party on Nov. 1 (a delayed Halloween party) my friend fCw and I dressed goth. 

 

SENIOR DAY:

For the last home game of a sports season, it is a tradition at my school for the underclassmen to dress up seniors, bake them goodies, and make them posters with embarrassing pictures. My team dressed up the seniors as a holiday. I was christmas, my favorite holiday! Here are some highlights of my volleyball senior day...

 

 

Spirit Week 2014

My favorite week of the year is definitley spirit week! Normally I dress up for as many days as possible, but this year I really tried to go all out. I mean its senior year! I had to take advantage!

Camo Day: Monday

Everyone brought out their real-tree camouflage and their well-worn hunting gear to start out the spirit week strong. 

 

Preppy Day: Tuesday

Everyone made jokes about how preppy day is not really that different from normal days at our prep school, but it was nice to see everyone in their preppy best!

America Day: Wednesday

This was one of my favorite days! USA USA USA

Pajama Day: Wednesday

One of my comfiest days at school...ever!

Spirit Day:

This picture cracks me up! Yearbookers attempting to spell out our school's letters.

At the end of the week, we had a huge pep rally, where all of the seniors from the fall teams got to do a dance. Unfortunately, due to issues with the content of our music, the volleyball team was unable to perform. After the event was over we stayed in the gym and performed it for our friends. I actually was really upset about not being able to dance. It was something that I had looked forward to doing for over six years of my life. I guess everything happens for a reason, but it was really unfortunate. 

I'm so excited for the homecoming dance tonight!

XOXOXO,

Transition

It's finally feeling like fall, and I love it! My little nugget, aDr, and I mixed our summer favorites (her pastel jean shorts, my tank top, and my sandals) with fall essentials (jeans and a white sweater). 

top: madewell // jeans: j brand

sweater & shorts: urban outfitters

shoes: soludos

School is getting INSANE right now, and it was nice to be able to relax with friends! Homecoming is coming up (with that comes spirit week, my absolutely favorite thing ever). It's so weird to think that this will be my last spirit week, but I will have tons of parties to dress up for in college, so it's not the end of that.  One thing I am in the midst of planning now is the pep rally dance with the seniors of the volleyball team, which will be solo embarrassing because I absolutely cannot dance. And my first college application is due so soon! I need to get working.

Happy October! XOXOXO,

Saturday Six: Seniorness

1. Feeling stressed? You're not the only one, trust me. I get really bad anxiety, and I have learned over the years that stress can be unavoidable. If you are stressed, here are some of my tips to help relax.

2. I love my volleyball team more than I can describe. Although we need to fix some things with how we're actually meshing on a volleyball court, I love these girls to pieces and I am so grateful to play next to them everyday. Our team dynamic is really just amazing. This is one group of people I will really miss next year when I am off at college! I adore my princesses!

3. It's almost fall, and Williams-Sonoma once again has my favorite soup in the world available. Their pumpkin bisque starter is perfect for those brisk fall days. Find it here or in stores.

4. I read this amazing "This I Believe Essay" by a high school senior. Her quote, below, really resonated with me. 

5. My friend kAb's post on high school is perf. (here)

6. I have my fall music playlist on repeat. Missed the post? Find it here.

Y'all, it's almost fall! XOXOXO,

Beach Daze

After an extremely crazy second week of school, I was so grateful to be able to go to the beach and recharge for the week. However, I am just as exhausted as ever! It is so hard getting back into the swing of things school-wise. Senior year is kicking my butt!

This weekend I have been doing homework (ugh!), watching college football, and trying to simply relax. I have been debating over whether or not I want to ask anyone to my homecoming dance this year. A lot of my friends are not going to ask anyone, and I don't know if I really need to ask anyone. I guess I will just follow my gut.

I actually had a breakdown this weekend from all of the stress. I cannot wait until second semester, the time that is rumored to be so much easier! I'll knock on wood and cross my fingers, but meanwhile I have four months of crazy scheduling between school, volleyball, college applications, and yearbook! (Not to mention my other clubs!)

My goal for this semester is to be more concentrated, and I will work on that right now by finishing my homework! #seniorness

XOXOXO,

Last Day of August & Summer's End

On my mind this week: 

1. Adios to my good friend, summer two thousand fourteen. I have mentioned in previous posts that this summer I have traveled a lot. But, I have also been at home. And playing volleyball. And paddle boarding. And visiting colleges. It's been a great summer, a hectic summer. A summer of reflection, at times. I'm currently at the point where my first week of senior year is in the past. I have weeks and months left of the last year of my high school education, but I already know that this year will be over before I know it. I have a vision of myself looking at this post sometime after graduation, my eyes wet with tears, reminiscing over the past.

It has been an exhausting week, but I have really loved getting to hang out with all of my friends, including some who I haven't seen in more than a year (junior year abroad). One thing that I love about my school is all of the senior privileges, one of which is the senior lounge. All of the seniors get to choose their lockers, so you get to be near some of your friends! The lockers surround a lounge filled with second-hand couches and leather chairs. During any free time, it will be packed with people. We blast music. BLAASTTT music. I love the way that the music sets the mood. I am so excited for this year, and college of course. But I will mention that I already have an immense load of homework, which is quite nerve-wracking. One thing that I think is interesting is that I have a teacher that I also had in the sixth grade. I have such vivid memories of that class six years ago. The teacher is surely intrigued by the differences of her students and how we have all changed in the years since taking her class.

2.

3. I recently read some of Blake Lively's Vogue cover story. One part that I found really fascinating:

[Lively] tells me a story about talking to an actor at a party, one who sounds very much like Warren Beatty. “He’s an older gentleman, infamous playboy, very, very, very famous actor. I asked him, ‘Why did you marry your wife? You could have married anyone. Why her, finally?’ And he said, ‘There were plenty of women I could have married, but only one I couldn’t have divorced.’ ” She laughs, then stares off for a moment. “I find that applies to so much in life. Because there are so many choices I could make, but only a few that I can’t not make.”

I love the point she makes. I think the huge thing about senior year is that there is a big decision to make about your future. College is a big deal. It is the first major decision most people make. Where you go to college will define which friends you will end up making, and really set the course for the rest of your life. I hope to make a choice that is very clear to me. I hope not to get my heart broken in the college process, but if I do find disappointment, I hope that I will learn more about myself and what I truly want in the process. 

4.

5. "Don't tell me our youth is running out / It's only just begun" and "There are many among us / And we're changing all the time" are two brilliant and provocative lines from the song Youth by Foxes. Another solid parallel to senior year. I'm just killing it with these analogies, am I right ladies?

 

Sorry for such a random kind of sad and downright wordy post? That's just my mood at the moment, I guess.

Love,

Last First Day

Monday was my last first day at my school. I really cannot believe that I am already a senior and it's really strange. This is the year that I have always looked forward to (as most people do). This year is the year of "lasts" it seems, with every event being the last one we will ever experience as a high school student. The last pep rallies, the last game, the last... everything. I have been thinking about so much of what I want from my future, and I can definitely see myself moving back to my area and teaching the little lower school angels at my school. Today I met a little first grade boy with my friend, and we walked hand-in-hand with him to an all-school opening ceremony. I shared with him my memories of the first days of first grade, and it just made me really aware of how quickly my years of school have passed. There is no doubt in my mind that I will miss the school that I have grown up in for over a decade. College, get ready for me, but I am not quite finished leaving my mark on my school quite yet.

This year I am taking the hardest math class at my entire school (last night I actually cried about it, it's already that overwhelming). This year I am more in control of the yearbook than I have ever been, and I am so excited to build an amazing book with literally some of my favorite people in my school. This year I hope my grade really bonds, because I have always thought that my class has been abnormally cliquey, and I hope we all cherish our last year at our school together as friends. This year I get to eat in the library... yay? This year I get to give my senior speech in front of the whole upper school, and I am so nervous. Public speaking has always been a challenge for me. This year I will plan a major change in my life: where I will go to college. 

Senior year is the end of living at home with my family, driving my younger brother to school, playing sports (or sitting on the bench) beside my friends, and so many other things. I am so grateful to go to a school that I whole-heartedly love, and I am so lucky to have met all the people who have made my time here so special.

XOXOXO,

College Like What?

This has been a crazy week for me college-wise. A few days ago, the Common App went live. What does that mean? Oh no big deal... just that I can already apply to college. How crazy is that?! And a week ago I got an email from a college in Maryland to recruit me for their lacrosse team. I am beyond confused. I thought I had my plans all figured out, but this was definitely a curve ball for me. I gave up the dream of playing college athletics two years ago. I had kind of burnt out of my travel team, and figured that no college team would ever be a good fit for me. However, I met the coach that recruited me at a sleep away lacrosse camp at a different college, and she was actually so nice (and knew what she was talking about). SO BASICALLY I have no idea what to do with my life... and I still really need to answer that email. Any advice?

XOXOXO, 

Summer 2014 is Here!

Today was my last exam and my last day of junior year. Does that make me a senior now? That's actually kind of terrifying.  Coincidentally, it's also the one year anniversary of this blog. That is sooo crazy. 365 days later, I am still learning my way around this whole blogging world. (and still loving every second)

I decided to celebrate this coinciding special day with my first photo shoot of the summer! The weather is so gorgeous outside!

dress: american apparel // shoes: converse // bracelet: madewell

Now I have to pack for this mission trip that I am doing extremely soon. It's going to be amazing, but a lot of hard work. I hope everyone has a relaxing day!

#seniorness

XOXOXO,
Kels