... Four Years Later

Well, hello...

I just checked on my blog for the first time in years because my mom asked me if I was familiar with Blogspot. Her simple question prompted a bittersweet tide of teenage memories. I remember refreshing my favorite blog every morning for school to see if the blogger had posted any update on her life overnight. I remember the joy that came from seeing comments under my rambling blog entries. As I scroll through my posts, it takes me back to a different time in my life. 

It is bizarre to me that I posted my last blog post was over four years ago. In June 2016, I had just returned home for the summer after my first year of college. I was starting to miss my new "college friends". We had gone from being connected at the hip to sending sporadic texts about the hometowns I had not yet visited. I was about to start a summer job at a local cafe, and I was aching from the recent death of my grandfather. 

Now, in June 2020, I am sitting in my childhood bedroom. I have been working from home for the last 89 days due to the unrelenting Coronavirus pandemic. I graduated college just over a year ago, but it still feels fresh. I work in the fashion industry in New York, and I am still paying for my Manhattan apartment as I remain at home, sheltering in place and glued to cable news. Gardening, walking our beloved family dog, watching TikTok videos have been the mainstays of my time at home. Other hobbies have come and gone: baking bread, writing my friends letters, making friendship bracelets. 

Were there early signs that 2020 would be a year of heartbreak? I thought it would be "my best year yet"... Early in the year, Kobe Bryant's sudden death rattled the nation. It seems like a lifetime ago. Now over 100,000 Americans have lost their lives to the killer virus, and our nation is heartbroken over the senseless violence towards Black Americans. 

The world is changing. Four years ago, I could not have guessed I would be back living at home. Maybe four years from now I will remember to write another blog post...

Ciao,

Thought 2

"in reality there is no such thing as an ordinary day"

In December, we constantly refer to this time of the year as "the season of giving." From Hanukkah to Christmas, millions of people will be passing out gifts to their friends and loved ones this time of year. But why should we reserve these chilly months for giving things to those we love? Lets find special things to give to the special people in our lives sporadically in the year. Lets give thanks for all of our blessings everyday of the year. Lets say "I love you" more. Lets live everyday like its the most special day of our lives, because no time should be taken for granted.

X.

Thought 1

"Never forget about the ones that love you back"

I'm a victim of it myself, we all are. We all seek attention from people who just do not seem to care about us. I honestly often get tired of chasing people who could not care less about me. I feel like if someone wants to be friends with me, or if they want to date me, it'll happen. Right now I keep pushing something that I know will never happen. I need to remind myself that there are plenty of people that do want to be around me, and I cannot overlook those people in yearning for another. Don't loose yourself in pursuit of something or someone else.

X.